How on earth did two month's in Ukraine go by in what seemed like 1 week? It was just a whisper and then it was over.

Ukraine was full of parties and get-togethers at my apartment.

Which included a few Nerts games!

And forcing Ukrainians to try "authentic American food" like deviled eggs and ants on a log.

And making some of my famous dishes.

And trying amazing Ukrainian dishes myself.

And making lots of new friends.

Including 5 "Natalia's" in one day!

And hosting some Couch Surfers from around the world.

Including Joe!

And seeing a few sights along the way.

The reason for going to Ukraine (and anywhere else in the world) was two-fold:

1. Get to know the locals
2. Network for internationalizing SammyK Media.

I highly succeeded at #1. I failed at #2.

Now I'm in Austria for a few days and then I'll head up to Germany before heading back home. I'm actually scouting my next location for another 2-3 month stay abroad… more info to come. :D

Dangit. So this is what happens when you're having a great time. Time flies and you realize you haven't updated your friends and family in over a week. Lots has happened, here it is in a nutshell.

Kiev, Ukraine has really grown on me. At times I feel like I'm walking through Reykjavik in Iceland, and at other times I feel like I'm walking through Antigua, Guatemala. Weird.

My Frist Ukrainian Contact

My first reaction to Kiev was "ugly buildings," (and yes, the buildings are still ugly), but I've been able to find some of the architectural diamonds in the rough. One of my new Couch Surfing friends Denis took several hours to show me all around his city and he gave me the insider information about everything. I had a fantastic time.

And that's been the vibe of Ukrainians I've felt here so far - very hospitable.

The Saturday Night Mixup

Last Saturday I was supposed to meet a group of Couch Surfers in the city. They had a plan to visit about 5 different locations in the city. But when I went to meet them at the first meeting point, I realized that I didn't know the exact location and left my map at home. So I had to walk all the way back home to get the map (about a mile away).

I plotted the locations on the map and shoved it in my pocket. After over 2 hours of walking in circles, I finally found the tiny pub we were supposed to meet in. The Couch Surfers weren't there. It was 10:30. We were supposed to meet a 8.

So I figured I'd catch them at the next location. After a 20 minute power walk, I found the restaurant and tried locate the group of people I had never met before. One of the servers spoke English and I asked her if there were any English speakers in the restaurant. She said they left about 30 minutes ago. Dangit. Just missed them.

So I asked her the fastest way to get to the next location on the map. She said the subway. I'd never used the subway before. But I went anyways.

Ukrainian is written with Cyrillic characters and I'm barely able to sound out all the letters yet - but event less so on the fly in a high-paced subway. Add to that fact there were no clear signs posted and I had no idea where I was or where I was going.

So here's what happened: I hopped on the first train that came into the station and realized that that was kind of stupid because I still wouldn't know where I was at the next stop. I got off at the very next stop which was a transfer station. I walked to the other station and pulled out my map to find the station closest to my house (giving up trying to find the Couch Surfers at this point).

I got two people's attention and pointed to the station on the map that was closest to my apartment to see if they'd point in a direction for me. They just said, "Da" (Yes). I was struggling to ask in Russian, "No, I mean how do I get there?" But they spoke English and said, "You're already here."

After nearly 4 hours of walking around aimlessly, I found my way back home.

How the heck did that happen!?

Easter Sunday

Last Sunday was Easter. I purchased one of the local Easter cakes known as a Babka.

I tried me some.

And it was dry, but pretty good.

The Crash

That same night I stayed up all night coding. I was working furiously to launch 2 web projects in an insanely short amount of time. I noticed my MacBook Pro was running a bit slow but figured it was just because I was working her to death.

As I finished the last project, I did my ritual of backing up my active projects online and shut the computer down for the night.

The next morning it happened.

My MacBook Pro is down for the count. Bad. I run a web-based business and if my computer is down, my company is down. There is no time to play around - 2 projects were just hard-launched and that means if anything went wrong, it was live for the whole world to see.

Minutes after I discover my computer crashed one of my clients called my Ukrainian cell phone with an urgent request for some files.

The closest Apple store is in Germany. I wasted no time in finding an "authorized Apple reseller". It was more of a shady outfit, but I was desperate for a computer. They didn't take credit cards and were asking for $300 more than the retail value.

I didn't care. I went to the nearest ATM and took out as much cash out of my business account as my bank would allow. Then I went to another ATM and took out the remainder from my personal account.

With pockets full Ukrainian Hryvnia bills, I came back to the "store" and bought a white MacBook with a Cyrillic keyword.

The whole process took up the whole day so I wasted no time in taking her home and plugging up my backup hard drive. I hadn't done a full backup for over 10 days, but at least I had that!

This was going to take a while.

So I made myself a nice little dessert.

When I got everything restored back to 10 days ago, I was able to download my latest online backup of the two projects I had just launched. I love SVN!

The computer seems to work fine and will sometimes пооп жунк poop out cyrillic characters.

My Apartment

I'm finally moved into my for-real apartment that I'll be staying in for the rest of my stay in Kiev.

It's located directly in the center of Kiev. It's got a ridiculously high ceiling and an uncomfortably high toilet. It makes it hard to take a dump.

New Ukrainian Friends

This past Friday I posted a message on Couch Surfing seeing if anyone wanted to meet up at a coffee shop for a low-key get together. There was a great turn-out.

When I ordered hot chocolate, they basically gave me a cup of melted chocolate

After a while we went out to eat at a tasty Italian restaurant. And then regrouped at one of the subway stations to meet up with more Couch Surfers. We had about 12 people join us throughout the night.

We eventually made it to a bar (ew) but it was not very loud so we were able to talk. We even tried to play the game where you have to talk but you can't show your teeth.

As the night wore on the group started to whittle down little by little. Eventually there was just 4 of us. Ian, a guy from the UK and Natalia from the Ukraine were having a very "lively" political discussion. I was quite entertained and sat back with a smile and listened.

I was just about to call it a night when this cute waitress approached the table. She was acting a bit sheepish and I realized she was not a waitress.

Ian jumped on the opportunity to talk with the pretty girl and introduced himself in part English and part Russian. I'm quite entertained by male slash pretty female social dynamics so I quietly observed the interaction with a smile.

After a bit of back and forth it was clear that she didn't speak hardly a word of English. She looked at me with a shy smile and then turned her attention to Anton, one of my new Ukrainian friends sitting next to me and said something in Russian.

Anton laughed and turned to me and said, "She wants you to join her at her table to meet her friends."

Feeling quite special, I proudly walked over to her table and met her friends who spoke about 10 words of English between the 6 of them.

They were all very nice people and were full of smiles. The "alpha male" of the table was a bald guy with fairly noticeable muscles.

They poured me a shot of vodka and flashbacks of Vietnam ran through my head. Although it wasn't quite as nasty as the Vietnamese moonshine, alcoholic beverages are just not my "cup of tea."

I asked them how to "cheers" in Russian and the muscly bald guy came over to me and locked arms for the drink and then gave me a big Ukrainian kiss on both cheeks.

I suppose the bald guy's muscles posed as a challenge for Anton because he ended up arm wrestling the guy.

And won!

After a while of trying to communicate and laughing at not understanding each other, I was pooped. I had help from Natalia with finding a taxi that wouldn't rip me off by letting her do all the talking.

Tomorrow I'm going to a Language exchange group to try and learn me some more Russian. I'm also doing an exchange with one of the Couch Surfers so I'll be Russianed out by tomorrow night!

It seems like the nearly 4 weeks in Thailand lasted about 6 days.

There are some serious fires going on in northern Thailand. It's so bad that you can barely see through the haze caused by the smoke.

And sometimes small pieces of ash will float down and land next to you even though the fires are miles and miles away. The other day it rained and really cleared the sky of a lot of the haze, but the whole town smelled like smoke for a few days.

When I left the temple, I went down to Chiang Mai to stay at the Grand Napat again. Needless to say, it was quite a contrast in living.

But there are two things that my monk quarters had that The Grand Napat will never have.

1) A coffin...

2) And Chicken Killer.

He would just lay outside my doorstep waiting for me to come out. I miss that little guy.

But The Grand Napat did include a big tasty breakfast buffet each morning. After eating rice and eggs all day while being a monk, I was happy to eat some bacon!

Or should I say "bacons" and "hams".

The Grand Napat is the same place me and William stayed at for over a month last year. We used to play in their pool often. I think we were the reason that they now have official pool rules posted.

Those didn't used to be there... and neither did the signs about not getting into the fountains. We did that a lot last year.

And William's favorite pirated DVD rental store was no longer in business.

I also got to meet up with Ploy (who stayed with my family back in 2005) and her bother Nat. They took me out for some Japanese food.

After a few days of luxury living, I flew to Bangkok to begin a very long travel day to Ukraine.

In Bangkok, I had about 5 hours to kill so I just stayed in the airport and worked on web projects. They were playing strange "classical music" through the PA including "Here Comes The Bride".

That night I flew to New Delhi, India. I had a connecting flight the next day. Since I didn't have a visa for India, I couldn't go out and stay at a hotel overnight so I just stayed at the airport.

Miami has long been on the bottom of my list of airports for years now. Not once have I ever been to an airport that I have come to dislike more than Miami. Until I flew to New Delhi. By far the worst airport I've ever seen. And since I didn't have a visa, staying overnight meant being confined to a small room packed with other "connecting flight" people for nearly 10 hours.

I made friends with some Czech people and an Indian guy. We played cards and then I worked on web projects as long as my two laptop batteries lasted.

After waiting forever, I boarded a plane to Moscow. That 6 hour plane ride felt longer than my 14 hour plane ride from Atlanta to Korea for some reason.

I got to Moscow and then finally boarded a plane to my destination - Kiev, Ukraine.

When I arrived at the airport I got though customs without any problems (even though I don't have a return ticket leaving Ukraine which is technically an issue with customs). When I went to get my backpack, I found that somewhere along the way, one of the many airports I had traveled through zip tied all the zippers on my backpack. And one of them damaged my backpack by punching a hole in the top compartment.

I blame India.

I was picked up at the airport by someone from the apartment company I booked through. He took me to my temporary apartment since the one I'll be staying in for the next 2 months won't be ready until the end of next week.

I have always had this image of Ukraine as looking very "soviet" as far as archetecture. As we drove into Kiev, my suspicions were confirmed. When the soviets were in control here, they pooped their unique architecture all over this town. "Ugly-ass buildings" would be a good untactful way to describe it.

Here's the view from my 11th floor apartment.

Aside from that, Kiev is a pretty typical city from what I gather walking around a bit for the first time today. A smile is a rare thing to see. Except when they are laughing at your sad attempt to speak in Russian.

I've been learning TONS of Russian... well considering I didn't know any Russian at all before. But I'm pretty comfortable with the Cyrillic alphabet now which is really whack when you consider that all but 4 of the latin letters make a different sound than in English. For example, "P" makes the "R" sound and "H" makes an "N" sound and there are all these other interesting characters that make all kinds of neat little sounds.

And on top of that, this is Ukraine! Ukrainian is the official language... and so is Russian! So half the time stuff is written in Ukrainian which doesn't help me with my Russian phrase book.

The phrase book has been a life saver though (thanks Lonely Planet for the whole 2009 catalog BTW). So far in my 6 or so encounters with people in the city at restaurants and supermarkets and such, only one was able to respond in English when they saw me struggling with my phrase book.

But that's cool with me. I'm a big believer that if you go visit a country, you should be respectful to the culture by learning at least the basics of that country's language. This just means I really have to learn Russian to survive here. I'll just be taking on tips from my polyglot friend Benny.

And so far the Couch Surfing community seems strong. I posted a message asking for Russian lessons in exchange for dance or English lessons. Nine interested Ukrainians responded and offered to show me around the city too. Awesome!

So my next mission is to find a SIM card for my phone. A Couch Surfer guy is going to help me with that tomorrow. Saturday there is a big Couch Surfing get together that I will be attending. Should be full of good people and dancing. Dancing!? You don't have to ask me twice!

I'm Monking It Now (sort of)
I'm officially on the 8 precepts:

1) Refrain from causing harm to any living creature.
2) Refrain from taking what is not given.
3) Refrain from sexual immorality.
4) Refrain from false speech.
5) Refrain from becoming intoxicated.
6) Refrain from eating at the wrong time.
7) Refrain from dancing, singing or beautifying the body with perfumes and cosmetics.
8) Refrain from comfy bedding.

Not much has changed except I'm not eating after noontime and I'm wearing all white. I'm not a fully ordained novice monk or anything, so I'm not taking on the orange robes.

There was a little ceremony that took place to officially start me on the 8 precepts. I had to recite a few phrases in the ancient Pali language to one of the monks. Things like, "I request the precept to refrain from harming any living creature, etc". But I had a little cheat sheet and a personal pronunciation coach.

The monk then gave me a blessing in Pali and told me to "keep the precepts".

Meditation Lessons
I then had my first lesson on meditation. I have be anxiously awaiting such a lesson. Taming the mind is not easy which is probably why not very many people meditate. The whole idea is to concentrate on one thing like your breathing or a white circle with a black border. My mind is constantly wandering and I keep catching myself thinking of anything but what I'm supposed to be. It's a constant struggle now, but they say it gets easier.

Yeah, don't worry, I'll get to the shaving-the-head part soon enough...

A Monk Ordination
Yesterday I got to witness two laymen get ordained as novice monks. It was a huge celebration with lots of people.

It all started with each of them sitting in a wooden chair while the laymen lined up behind them. One at a time a layman would take a pair of scissors and cut off a lock of hair.

It is said that when the Buddha was establishing the Sangha (basically, getting Buddhism started by ordaining Buddhist monks and establishing a Buddhist community), one of the Naga (a serpent-looking animal that protects of the Buddha) turned into a human and tried to become ordained as a monk.

The Buddha knew that the Naga was not really a human and said, "No, silly rabbit, Tricks are for kids." Just kidding, he said, "No, silly Naga, monks are for humans."

So when a "pre-monk" is going through the ordination service, they are called "Naga" and are eventually asked a number of questions before becoming ordained. One of which is, "Are you a human?"

The mother of one of the Naga even let Ralph (one of the fellow "Monk For A Month" students) cut off a lock of hair.

It's taboo in Thai culture to touch someone's head. And in the "old days" a barber would apologize to their client before a cut saying, "I'm sorry sir, but I will have to touch your head and step on your hair while I cut your hair."

That is why the Thais are so diligent about putting the the locks of hair into a special bowl instead of letting it just fall on the ground.

Once all the laymen had had their way with destroying the Naga's haircuts, the shaving time began.

Then the laymen lined up again and each poured water and flower petals over the Naga's head.

When one is ordained as a monk in the Buddhist faith, a huge amount of merit is given to the mother of the monk. So it was quite an emotional time when one of the Naga paid respect to his grandmother and parents.

It was equally emotional for the whole family when they poured the water over their son's head.

Then he got rubbed down with turmeric powder. Not sure why they do this but the original monks used to dye their robes with turmeric powder or saffron.

Then the whole party moves to the main temple where they get their gifts ready. All the gifts looked like one of two things - an orange blanket or a fan...

The Naga is brought in and is given louts flowers (a huge symbol in Buddhism) and incense.

The Naga don't get to wear the signature orange robes until the robes are ceremonially given to them in the temple. They change into the robes in front of everyone (they are diligent not to expose anything that might break any of the precepts of course).

Then everyone gets behind him to parade around the temple three times.

Then right before they enter the temple, the Naga is handed a bowl full of what looks to be colorful candies.

In reality it's wrapped money. The Naga tosses handfuls of the wrapped money into the crowd symbolizing him giving up his worldly treasures to pursue a life of holiness.

Then the whole party moves into the temple and spends over an hour ordaining the two.

I didn't have quite the party full of family and friends for my head shaving... but I'll get to that in a sec.

Farewell Ralph
One of the fellow "Monk For A Month" students Ralph (who cut the hair in the video above) had his last day yesterday. It was just him and me for this past week and so we got to share a lot of experiences together.

There are about 20 temple dogs running around the temple. One of them in particular whom Ralph so affectionately calls "Chicken Killer" (because that's what he does), is easy to fall in love with. He always comes and lays next to us when we eat and is always jumping on our white clothes thus making them brown.

When it came time for Ralph to leave, Chicken Killer followed us out to the bus stop. When the van arrived, we said our farewells.

When Ralph boarded the van, Chicken Killer tried to get on with him and Graham had to hold him back.

So off he went and when we turned to go back to the temple, we saw one of Ralph's bags sitting on the ground. Frantically we waived for the van to stop as Graham grabbed the bag and ran towards the van.

A kind man on a motorbike saw what was going on and stopped in front of running Graham and pointed to his motorbike seat. Then Graham jumped on and they sped off after the van.

The van came to a stop and Graham was able to return the bag to Ralph thanks to random kindness from a motorbiker.

Chicken Killer was so sad to see Ralph leave that he had to be carried all the way back to the temple.

My Head & It's Lack of Hair
And finally, I know my head-shaving experience is at the forefront of most of your minds, so here we go.

Meet the head barber - Joy.

Joy is a senior novice monk and speaks very good English. He's been unofficially put in charge of shaving all the foreigner's heads.

Not much more explanation is needed really, bring on the pics!

I asked Joy to just leave the sideburns.

But that lasted about 10 seconds.

And did I shave off my eyebrows too!? I'm afraid so.

Just one missing...

Well, there you have it. I now have no hair anywhere on my entire head. It feels really weird, not so much the feeling of touching it, but the feeling of the top of my head being touched. You should try it some day!

Today is Saturday and I'm supposed to have a bald head by now. Unfortunately the novice monk "barber" in charge of shaving heads decided to spend a few extra days out-of-town. So I still have my full head of hair. But as soon as he comes back, it's gone!

I recently had the opportunity to witness the novice monks during their chanting exercise in the main temple. The chanting (and most of their formal ceremonies) are done in the an ancient language called Pali.

The main temple is about the size of a small rural church in the US. The far end of the temple houses a wall full of statues, photos, lights and incense. Dominating the wall full of holy nicknacks is a massive golden statue of the Buddha. It's reflection can be clearly seen in the spotless dark glossy hardwood floors.

When one enters a temple in Thailand, one must be diligent in manner. A few things to keep in mind when you enter such a room.

Take Off Your Shoes
People take off their shoes to enter a building anyway, so this is especially true for a temple.

Don't Point Your Feet At Anyone
In Thai culture, the feet are regarded as one of the nastiest parts of the body. It is considered rude to point your feet in the direction of any person. This is why when Thai people sit on the floor, they always tuck their feet under their bodies. This rule is especially true for the Buddha statue; you never want to point your feet at it.

Show Respect To The Buddha Statue
In Thai culture, it is respectful when greeting someone to "Wai" them. This means putting both hands together like you're going to pray, bring them up to your nose and subtly bow your head. This action is usually accompanied by a friendly verbal greeting.

There is a hierarchy of "Wai"ing. Kids Wai to adults, but not the other way around and laymen Wai to monks but they don't Wai back.

When one enters a temple, there is a special Wai that one must give to the Buddha statue to show deep respect. It starts with the person kneeling on the ground with both knees and sitting on their feet. The "prayer hands" are brought from the chest to the nose and then he bows to the ground. This is done three times and is ended with a final chest-to-nose action.

The "special Wai" is expected twice; once when one enters the temple and once when one leaves the temple. You can see the Wai in action in the first video above when one of the monks comes in late (about 30 seconds in).

The novice monks and laymen will do this action before a monk during special ceremony like with taking on additional precepts or ordaining as a monk.

It's Not Worship
To most Westerners familiar with Judaism, Christianity or Islam, it looks like the monks are worshiping an idol when they see them bowing down to a Buddha statue. But in reality, they are simply showing deep respect for the Buddha.

It's also a common misunderstanding to those unfamiliar with Buddhism to assume that Buddhists think Buddha is a god. This is not true. In their religion, he was just a guy. But this guy was special in that he reached "Nirvana" or "enlightenment" without anyone telling him how to do so.

According to Buddhists, anyone can reach enlightenment. And what enlightenment truly is begs a "you'll know it when you get there" type explanation.

Cut Kids Picture Time
Aside from chanting, I got to visit one of the public Thai schools on a special day. The kids were selling arts and crafts and putting on performances. I'm not trying to make a trend of closing my blogs with cute kid pictures, but I'll do it at least one more time.